CELIA
I pray , Rosalind, sweet my coz, be merry.
ROSALIND
Dear Celia, I show more mirth than I am mistress of, and would you yet I were merrier? Unless you could teach me to forget a banished father, you must not learn me how to remember any extraordinary pleasure.
CELIA
Herein I see lov’st me not with the full weight that I love . If my uncle, banished father, had banished uncle, the Duke my father, so hadst been still with me, I could have taught my love to take father for mine. So , if the truth of love to me were so righteously tempered as mine is to .
ROSALIND
Well, I will forget the condition of my estate to rejoice in yours.
CELIA
You know my father no child but I, nor none is like to have; and truly, when he dies be his heir, for what he taken away from father perforce, I will render again in affection. By mine honour I will! And when I break that oath, let me turn monster. Therefore, my sweet Rose, my dear Rose, be merry.
ROSALIND
From henceforth I will, coz, and devise sports. Let me see—what think you of falling in love?
CELIA
Marry, I do, to make sport ; but love no man in good earnest, nor no further in sport neither than with safety of a pure blush mayst in honour come off again.
ROSALIND
What shall be our sport, then?
CELIA
Let us sit and mock the good housewife Fortune from her wheel, that her gifts may henceforth be bestowed equally.
ROSALIND
I would we could do so, for her benefits are mightily misplaced, and the bountiful blind woman most mistake in her gifts to women.
CELIA
true, for those that she makes fair she scarce makes honest, and those that she makes honest she makes very ill-favouredly.
ROSALIND
Nay, now goest from Fortune’s office to Nature’s. Fortune reigns in gifts of the world, not in the lineaments of Nature.
CELIA
No? When Nature made a fair creature, may she not by Fortune fall into the fire? Though Nature given us wit to flout at Fortune, not Fortune sent in this fool to cut off the argument?
ROSALIND
Indeed, there is Fortune too hard for Nature, when Fortune makes Nature’s natural the cutter-off of Nature’s wit.
CELIA
Peradventure this is not Fortune’s work neither, but Nature’s, who perceiveth our natural wits too dull to reason of such goddesses, and sent this natural for our whetstone; for always the dullness of the fool is the whetstone of the wits.—How now, wit, wander you?
TOUCHSTONE
Mistress, you must come away to your father.
CELIA
Were you made the messenger?
TOUCHSTONE
No, by mine honour, but I was bid to come for you.
ROSALIND
Where learned you that oath, fool?
TOUCHSTONE
Of a certain knight that swore by his honour they were good pancakes, and swore by his honour the mustard was . Now, I’ll stand to it, the pancakes were and the mustard was good, and yet was not the knight forsworn.
CELIA
How prove you that in the great heap of your knowledge?
ROSALIND
Ay, marry, now unmuzzle your wisdom.
TOUCHSTONE
Stand you both forth now: stroke your chins, and swear by your beards that I am a .
CELIA
By our beards, if we had them, art.
TOUCHSTONE
By my knavery, if I had it, then I were. But if you swear by that that is not, you are not forsworn. No more was this knight swearing by his honour, for he never had any; or if he had, he had sworn it away before ever he saw those pancackes or that mustard.
CELIA
, who is’t that mean’st?
TOUCHSTONE
One that old Frederick, your father, loves.
CELIA
My father’s love is enough to honour him. Enough! Speak no more of him. You’ll be whipped for taxation one of these days.
TOUCHSTONE
The more pity that fools may not speak wisely what wise men do foolishly.
CELIA
By my troth, sayest true. For since the little wit that fools have was silenced, the little foolery that wise men have makes a great show. Here comes Monsieur Le Beau.
ROSALIND
With his mouth full of news.
CELIA
Which he will put on us as pigeons feed their young.
ROSALIND
Then shall we be news-crammed.
CELIA
All the better; we shall be the more marketable.
Bonjour, Monsieur Le Beau. What’s the news?
LE BEAU
Fair princess, you have lost much good sport.
CELIA
Sport! Of what colour?
LE BEAU
What colour, madam? How shall I answer you?
ROSALIND
As wit and fortune will.
TOUCHSTONE
Or as the destinies decrees.
CELIA
Well said. That was laid on with a trowel.
TOUCHSTONE
Nay, if I keep not my rank—
ROSALIND
losest old smell.
LE BEAU
You amaze me, ladies. I would have told you of good wrestling, which you have lost the sight of.
ROSALIND
Yet tell us the manner of the wrestling.
LE BEAU
I will tell you the beginning and, if it please your ladyships, you may see the end, for the best is yet to do; and here, where you are, they are coming to perform it.
CELIA
Well, the beginning that is dead and buried.
LE BEAU
There comes an old man and his three sons—
CELIA
I could match this beginning with an old tale.
LE BEAU
Three proper young men of excellent growth and presence.
ROSALIND
With bills on their necks: “Be it known unto all men by these presents.”
LE BEAU
The eldest of the three wrestled with Charles, the Duke’s wrestler, which Charles in a moment threw him and broke three of his ribs, that there is little hope of life in him. So he served the second, and so the third. Yonder they lie, the poor old man their father making such pitiful dole over them that all the beholders take his part with weeping.
ROSALIND
Alas!
TOUCHSTONE
But what is the sport, monsieur, that the ladies have lost?
LE BEAU
Why, this that I speak of.
TOUCHSTONE
Thus men may grow wiser every day. It is the first time that ever I heard breaking of ribs was sport for ladies.
CELIA
Or I, I promise .
ROSALIND
But is there any else longs to see this broken music in his sides? Is there yet another dotes upon rib-breaking? Shall we see this wrestling, cousin?
LE BEAU
You must if you stay here, for here is the place appointed for the wrestling, and they are ready to perform it.
CELIA
Yonder, sure, they are coming. Let us now stay and see it.
DUKE FREDERICK
Come on. Since the youth will not be entreated, his own peril on his forwardness.
ROSALIND
Is yonder the man?
LE BEAU
Even he, madam.
CELIA
Alas, he is too young. Yet he looks successfully.
DUKE FREDERICK
How now, daughter and cousin? Are you crept to see the wrestling?
ROSALIND
Ay, my liege, so please you give us leave.
DUKE FREDERICK
You will take little delight in it, I can tell you, there is such odds in the man. In pity of the challenger’s youth I would dissuade him, but he will not be entreated. Speak to him, ladies; see if you can move him.
CELIA
Call him , good Monsieur Le Beau.
DUKE FREDERICK
Do so; I’ll not be by.
LE BEAU
Monsieur the challenger, the Princess calls for you.
ORLANDO
I attend them with all respect and duty.
ROSALIND
Young man, have you challenged Charles the wrestler?
ORLANDO
No, fair princess. He is the general challenger. I come but in as others do, to try with him the strength of my youth.
CELIA
Young gentleman, your spirits are too bold for your years. You have seen cruel proof of this man’s strength. If you saw yourself with your eyes or knew yourself with your judgement, the fear of your adventure would counsel you to a more equal enterprise. We pray you for your own sake to embrace your own safety and give over this attempt.
ROSALIND
Do, young sir. Your reputation shall not therefore be misprized. We will make it our suit to the Duke that the wrestling might not go forward.
ORLANDO
I beseech you, punish me not with your hard thoughts, wherein I confess me much guilty to deny so fair and excellent ladies anything. But let your fair eyes and gentle wishes go with me to my trial, wherein if I be foiled there is but one shamed that was never gracious; if killed, but one dead that is willing to be so. I shall do my friends no wrong, for I have none to lament me; the world no injury, for in it I have nothing. Only in the world I fill up a place, which may be better supplied when I have made it empty.
ROSALIND
The little strength that I have, I would it were with you.
CELIA
And mine to eke out hers.
ROSALIND
Fare you well. Pray heaven I be deceived in you.
CELIA
Your heart’s desires be with you.
CHARLES
Come, where is this young gallant that is so desirous to lie with his mother earth?
ORLANDO
Ready, sir; but his will in it a more modest working.
DUKE FREDERICK
You shall try but one fall.
CHARLES
No, I warrant your grace you shall not entreat him to a second, that have so mightily persuaded him from a first.
ORLANDO
You mean to mock me after; you should not have mocked me before. But come your ways.
ROSALIND
Now, Hercules be speed, young man!
CELIA
I would I were invisible, to catch the strong fellow by the leg.
ROSALIND
O excellent young man!
CELIA
If I had a thunderbolt in mine eye, I can tell who should down.
DUKE FREDERICK
No more, no more.
ORLANDO
Yes, I beseech your grace. I am not yet well breathed.
DUKE FREDERICK
How , Charles?
LE BEAU
He cannot speak, my lord.
DUKE FREDERICK
Bear him away.
DUKE FREDERICK
What is name, young man?
ORLANDO
Orlando, my liege, the youngest son of Sir Rowland de Boys.
DUKE FREDERICK
I would hadst been son to some man else.
The world esteemed father honourable,
But I did find him still mine enemy.
have better pleased me with this deed
Hadst descended from another house.
But fare well, art a gallant youth.
I would hadst told me of another father.
CELIA
Were I my father, coz, would I do this?
ORLANDO
I am more proud to be Sir Rowland’s son,
His youngest son, and would not change that calling
To be adopted heir to Frederick.
ROSALIND
My father loved Sir Rowland as his soul,
And all the world was of my father’s mind.
Had I before known this young man his son,
I should have given him tears unto entreaties
he should thus have ventured.
CELIA
Gentle cousin,
Let us go thank him and encourage him.
My father’s rough and envious disposition
Sticks me at heart.—Sir, you have well deserved.
If you do keep your promises in love
But justly, as you have exceeded promise,
Your mistress shall be happy.
ROSALIND
Gentleman,
ROSALIND
Wear this for me—one out of suits with Fortune,
That could give more but that her hand lacks means.—
Shall we go, coz?
CELIA
Ay.—Fare you well, fair gentleman.
ORLANDO
Can I not say, I thank you? My better parts
Are all thrown down, and that which here stands up
Is but a quintain, a mere lifeless block.
ROSALIND
He calls us back. My pride fell with my fortunes.
I’ll ask him what he would.—Did you call, sir?—
Sir, you have wrestled well and overthrown
More than your enemies.
CELIA
Will you go, coz?
ROSALIND
Have with you.—Fare you well.
ORLANDO
What passion hangs these weights upon my tongue?
I cannot speak to her, yet she urged conference.
O poor Orlando, art overthrown.
Or Charles or something weaker masters .
LE BEAU
Good sir, I do in friendship counsel you
To leave this place. Albeit you have deserved
High commendation, true applause, and love,
Yet such is now the Duke’s condition
That he misconsters all that you have done.
The Duke is humorous; what he is indeed
More suits you to conceive than I to speak of.
ORLANDO
I thank you, sir; and pray you tell me this:
Which of the two was daughter of the Duke
That here was at the wrestling?
LE BEAU
Neither his daughter, if we judge by manners,
But yet indeed the smaller is his daughter.
The other is daughter to the banished Duke,
And here detained by her usurping uncle
To keep his daughter company, whose loves
Are dearer than the natural bond of sisters.
But I can tell you that of late this Duke
ta’en displeasure ’gainst his gentle niece,
Grounded upon no other argument
But that the people praise her for her virtues
And pity her for her good father’s sake;
And, on my life, his malice ’gainst the lady
Will suddenly break forth. Sir, fare you well.
Hereafter, in a better world than this,
I shall desire more love and knowledge of you.
ORLANDO
I rest much bounden to you; fare you well!
ORLANDO
Thus must I from the smoke into the smother,
From tyrant Duke unto a tyrant brother.
But heavenly Rosalind!