CLOWN
Will you make me believe that I am not sent for you?
SEBASTIAN
Go to, go to, art a foolish fellow.
Let me be clear of .
CLOWN
Well held out, i’ faith! No, I do not know you, nor I am not sent to you by my lady, to bid you come speak with her; nor your name is not Master Cesario; nor this is not my nose neither. Nothing that is so, is so.
SEBASTIAN
I vent folly somewhere else,
know’st not me.
CLOWN
Vent my folly! He has heard that word of some great man, and now applies it to a fool. Vent my folly! I am afraid this great lubber, the world, will prove a cockney. I now, ungird strangeness, and tell me what I shall vent to my lady. Shall I vent to her that art coming?
SEBASTIAN
I , foolish Greek, depart from me.
There’s money for ; if you tarry longer
I shall give worse payment.
CLOWN
By my troth, an open hand. These wise men that give fools money get themselves a good report—after fourteen years’ purchase.
SIR ANDREW
Now sir, have I met you again? There’s for you.
SEBASTIAN
Why, there’s for , and there, and there.
Are all the people mad?
SIR TOBY
Hold, sir, or I’ll throw your dagger the house.
CLOWN
This will I tell my lady straight. I would not be in some of your coats for twopence.
SIR TOBY
Come on, sir, hold!
SIR ANDREW
Nay, let him alone, I’ll go another way to work with him. I’ll have an action of battery against him, if there be any law in Illyria. Though I struck him first, yet it’s no matter for that.
SEBASTIAN
Let go hand!
SIR TOBY
Come, sir, I will not let you go. Come, my young soldier, put up your iron: you are well fleshed. Come on.
SEBASTIAN
I will be free from . What now?
If dar’st tempt me further, draw sword.
SIR TOBY
What, what? Nay, then, I must have an ounce or two of this malapert blood from you.
OLIVIA
Hold, Toby! On life I charge hold!
SIR TOBY
Madam.
OLIVIA
Will it be ever thus? Ungracious wretch,
Fit for the mountains and the barbarous caves,
Where manners were preach’d! Out of my sight!
Be not offended, dear Cesario.
Rudesby, be gone!
OLIVIA
I , gentle friend,
Let fair wisdom, not passion, sway
In this uncivil and unjust extent
Against peace. Go with me to my house,
And hear there how many fruitless pranks
This ruffian botch’d up, that thereby
Mayst smile at this. not choose but go.
Do not deny. Beshrew his soul for me,
He started one poor heart of mine, in .
SEBASTIAN
What relish is in this? How runs the stream?
Or I am mad, or else this is a dream.
Let fancy still my sense in Lethe steep;
If it be thus to dream, still let me sleep!
OLIVIA
Nay, come, I . Would thou’dst be ruled by me!
SEBASTIAN
Madam, I will.
OLIVIA
O, say so, and so be!