GRUMIO
No, no, ; I dare not for my life.
KATHERINA
The more my wrong, the more his spite appears.
What, did he marry me to famish me?
Beggars that come unto my father’s door
Upon entreaty have a present alms;
If not, elsewhere they meet with charity;
But I, who never knew how to entreat,
Nor never needed that I should entreat,
Am starv’d for meat, giddy for lack of sleep;
With oaths kept waking, and with brawling fed.
And that which spites me more than all these wants,
He does it under name of perfect love;
As who should say, if I should sleep or eat
’Twere deadly sickness, or else present death.
I go and get me some repast;
I care not what, so it be wholesome food.
GRUMIO
What say you to a neat’s foot?
KATHERINA
passing good; I let me have it.
GRUMIO
I fear it is too choleric a meat.
How say you to a fat tripe finely broil’d?
KATHERINA
I like it well; good Grumio, fetch it me.
GRUMIO
I cannot tell; I fear choleric.
What say you to a piece of beef and mustard?
KATHERINA
A dish that I do love to feed upon.
GRUMIO
Ay, but the mustard is too hot a little.
KATHERINA
Why then the beef, and let the mustard rest.
GRUMIO
Nay, then I will not: you shall have the mustard,
Or else you get no beef of Grumio.
KATHERINA
Then both, or one, or anything wilt.
GRUMIO
Why then the mustard without the beef.
KATHERINA
Go, get gone, false deluding slave,
KATHERINA
That feed’st me with the very name of meat.
Sorrow on and all the pack of you
That triumph thus upon my misery!
Go, get gone, I say.
PETRUCHIO
How fares my Kate? What, sweeting, all amort?
HORTENSIO
Mistress, what cheer?
KATHERINA
Faith, as cold as can be.
PETRUCHIO
Pluck up spirits; look cheerfully upon me.
Here, love; seest how diligent I am,
To dress meat myself, and bring it :
PETRUCHIO
I am sure, sweet Kate, this kindness merits thanks.
What! not a word? Nay, then lov’st it not,
And all my pains is sorted to no proof.
Here, take away this dish.
KATHERINA
I pray you, let it stand.
PETRUCHIO
The poorest service is repaid with thanks;
And so shall mine, before you touch the meat.
KATHERINA
I thank you, sir.
HORTENSIO
Signior Petruchio, fie! you are to blame.
Come, Mistress Kate, I’ll bear you company.
PETRUCHIO
Eat it up all, Hortensio, if lovest me.
Much good do it unto gentle heart!
Kate, eat apace: and now, my honey love,
Will we return unto father’s house
And revel it as bravely as the best,
With silken coats and caps, and golden rings,
With ruffs and cuffs and farthingales and things;
With scarfs and fans and double change of bravery,
With amber bracelets, beads, and all this knavery.
What! din’d? The tailor stays leisure,
To deck body with his ruffling treasure.
PETRUCHIO
Come, tailor, let us see these ornaments;
Lay forth the gown.—
PETRUCHIO
What news with you, sir?
HABERDASHER
Here is the cap your worship did bespeak.
PETRUCHIO
Why, this was moulded on a porringer;
A velvet dish: fie, fie! lewd and filthy:
Why, a cockle or a walnut-shell,
A knack, a toy, a trick, a baby’s cap:
Away with it! come, let me have a bigger.
KATHERINA
I’ll have no bigger; this fit the time,
And gentlewomen wear such caps as these.
PETRUCHIO
When you are gentle, you shall have one too,
And not till then.
HORTENSIO
That will not be in haste.
KATHERINA
Why, sir, I trust I may have leave to speak;
And speak I will. I am no child, no babe.
Your betters have endur’d me say my mind,
And if you cannot, best you stop your ears.
My tongue will tell the anger of my heart,
Or else my heart, concealing it, will break;
And rather than it shall, I will be free
Even to the uttermost, as I please, in words.
PETRUCHIO
Why, say’st true; it is a paltry cap,
A custard-coffin, a bauble, a silken pie;
I love well in that lik’st it not.
KATHERINA
Love me or love me not, I like the cap;
And it I will have, or I will have none.
PETRUCHIO
gown? Why, ay: come, tailor, let us see’t.
O mercy, God! what masquing stuff is here?
What’s this? A sleeve? like a demi-cannon.
What, up and down, carv’d like an apple tart?
Here’s snip and nip and cut and slish and slash,
Like to a censer in a barber’s shop.
Why, what i’ devil’s name, tailor, call’st this?
HORTENSIO
I see she’s like to have neither cap nor gown.
TAILOR
You bid me make it orderly and well,
According to the fashion and the time.
PETRUCHIO
Marry, and did; but if you be remember’d,
I did not bid you mar it to the time.
Go, hop me over every kennel home,
For you shall hop without my custom, sir.
I’ll none of it: ! make your best of it.
KATHERINA
I never saw a better fashion’d gown,
More quaint, more pleasing, nor more commendable;
you mean to make a puppet of me.
PETRUCHIO
Why, true; he means to make a puppet of .
TAILOR
She says your worship means to make a puppet of her.
PETRUCHIO
O monstrous arrogance! liest, thread,
thimble,
yard, three-quarters, half-yard, quarter, nail!
flea, nit, winter-cricket !
Brav’d in mine own house with a skein of thread!
Away! rag, quantity, remnant,
Or I shall so be-mete with yard
As think on prating whilst liv’st!
I tell , I, that marr’d her gown.
TAILOR
Your worship is deceiv’d: the gown is made
Just as my master had direction.
Grumio gave order how it should be done.
GRUMIO
I gave him no order; I gave him the stuff.
TAILOR
But how did you desire it should be made?
GRUMIO
Marry, sir, with needle and thread.
TAILOR
But did you not request to have it cut?
GRUMIO
faced many things.
TAILOR
I have.
GRUMIO
Face not me. braved many men; brave not me: I will neither be fac’d nor brav’d. I say unto , I bid master cut out the gown; but I did not bid him cut it to pieces: ergo, liest.
TAILOR
Why, here is the note of the fashion to testify.
PETRUCHIO
Read it.
GRUMIO
The note lies in ’s throat, if he say I said so.
TAILOR
’Imprimis, a loose-bodied gown.’
GRUMIO
Master, if ever I said loose-bodied gown, sew me in the skirts of it and beat me to death with a bottom of brown thread; I said, a gown.
PETRUCHIO
Proceed.
TAILOR
‘With a small compassed cape.’
GRUMIO
I confess the cape.
TAILOR
‘With a trunk sleeve.’
GRUMIO
I confess two sleeves.
TAILOR
‘The sleeves curiously cut.’
PETRUCHIO
Ay, there’s the villainy.
GRUMIO
Error i’ the bill, sir; error i’ the bill. I commanded the sleeves should be cut out, and sew’d up again; and that I’ll prove upon , though little finger be armed in a thimble.
TAILOR
This is true that I say; and I had in place where know it.
GRUMIO
I am for straight; take the bill, give me mete-yard, and spare not me.
HORTENSIO
God-a-mercy, Grumio! Then he shall have no odds.
PETRUCHIO
Well, sir, in brief, the gown is not for me.
GRUMIO
You are i’ the right, sir; for my mistress.
PETRUCHIO
Go, take it up unto master’s use.
GRUMIO
Villain, not for life! Take up my mistress’ gown for master’s use!
PETRUCHIO
Why, sir, what’s your conceit in that?
GRUMIO
O, sir, the conceit is deeper than you think for.
Take up my mistress’ gown to his master’s use!
O fie, fie, fie!
PETRUCHIO
Hortensio, say wilt see the tailor paid.
Go take it ; be gone, and say no more.
HORTENSIO
Tailor, I’ll pay for gown tomorrow;
Take no unkindness of his hasty words.
Away, I say! commend me to master.
PETRUCHIO
Well, come, my Kate; we will unto your father’s
Even in these honest mean habiliments.
Our purses shall be proud, our garments poor
For the mind that makes the body rich;
And as the sun breaks through the darkest clouds,
So honour peereth in the meanest habit.
What, is the jay more precious than the lark
Because his feathers are more beautiful?
Or is the adder better than the eel
Because his painted skin contents the eye?
O no, good Kate; neither art the worse
For this poor furniture and mean array.
If account’st it shame, lay it on me;
And therefore frolic; we will forthwith,
To feast and sport us at father’s house.
Go call my men, and let us straight to him;
And bring our horses unto Long-lane end;
There will we mount, and walk on foot.
Let’s see; I think now some seven o’clock,
And well we may come there by dinner-time.
KATHERINA
I dare assure you, sir, almost two,
And ’twill be supper-time you come there.
PETRUCHIO
It shall be seven I go to horse.
Look what I speak, or do, or think to do,
You are still crossing it. Sirs, let ’t alone:
I will not go today; and I do,
It shall be what o’clock I say it is.
HORTENSIO
Why, so this gallant will command the sun.