LEONATO
What would you with me, honest neighbour?
DOGBERRY
Marry, sir, I would have some confidence with you, that decerns you nearly.
LEONATO
Brief, I pray you; for you see it is a busy time with me.
DOGBERRY
Marry, this it is, sir.
VERGES
Yes, in truth it is, sir.
LEONATO
What is it, my good friends?
DOGBERRY
Goodman Verges, sir, speaks a little off the matter: an old man, sir, and his wits are not so blunt as, God help, I would desire they were; but, in faith, honest as the skin between his brows.
VERGES
Yes, I thank God, I am as honest as any man living, that is an old man and no honester than I.
DOGBERRY
Comparisons are odorous: palabras, neighbour Verges.
LEONATO
Neighbours, you are tedious.
DOGBERRY
It pleases your worship to say so, but we are the poor Duke’s officers; but truly, for mine own part, if I were as tedious as a king, I could find in my heart to bestow it all of your worship.
LEONATO
All tediousness on me! ah?
DOGBERRY
Yea, and ’twere a thousand pound more than ; for I hear as good exclamation on your worship, as of any man in the city, and though I be but a poor man, I am glad to hear it.
VERGES
And so am I.
LEONATO
I would know what you have to say.
VERGES
Marry, sir, our watch tonight, excepting your worship’s presence, ha’ ta’en a couple of as arrant knaves as any in Messina.
DOGBERRY
A good old man, sir; he will be talking; as they say, ‘when the age is in, the wit is out.’ God help us! it is a world to see! Well said, i’ faith, neighbour Verges: well, God’s a good man; and two men ride of a horse, one must ride behind. An honest soul, i’ faith, sir; by my troth he is, as ever broke bread; but God is to be worshipped: all men are not alike; alas! good neighbour.
LEONATO
Indeed, neighbour, he comes too short of you.
DOGBERRY
Gifts that God gives.
LEONATO
I must leave you.
DOGBERRY
One word, sir: our watch, sir, have indeed comprehended two aspicious persons, and we would have them this morning examined before your worship.
LEONATO
Take their examination yourself, and bring it me: I am now in great haste, as may appear unto you.
DOGBERRY
It shall be suffigance.
LEONATO
Drink some wine you go: fare you well.
MESSENGER
My lord, they stay for you to give your daughter to her husband.
LEONATO
I’ll wait upon them: I am ready.
DOGBERRY
Go, good partner, go get you to Francis Seacoal; bid him bring his pen and inkhorn to the gaol: we are now to examination these men.
VERGES
And we must do it wisely.
DOGBERRY
We will spare for no wit, I warrant you; here’s that shall drive some of them to a non-come: only get the learned writer to set down our excommunication, and meet me at the gaol.