MISTRESS PAGE
Is he at Master Ford’s already, think’st ?
MISTRESS QUICKLY
Sure he is by this; or will be . But truly he is very courageous mad about his throwing into the water. Mistress Ford desires you to come suddenly.
MISTRESS PAGE
I’ll be with her by and by. I’ll but bring my young man here to school. Look where his master comes; a playing day, I see.
MISTRESS PAGE
How now, Sir Hugh, no school today?
EVANS
No, Master Slender is let the boys leave to play.
MISTRESS QUICKLY
Blessing of his heart!
MISTRESS PAGE
Sir Hugh, my husband says my son profits nothing in the world at his book. I pray you ask him some questions in his accidence.
EVANS
Come , William. Hold up your head, come.
MISTRESS PAGE
Come on, . Hold up your head. Answer your master, be not afraid.
EVANS
William, how many numbers is in nouns?
WILLIAM
Two.
MISTRESS QUICKLY
Truly, I thought there had been one number more, because they say “’Od’s nouns.”
EVANS
Peace your tattlings! What is “fair,” William?
WILLIAM
Pulcher.
MISTRESS QUICKLY
Polecats? There are fairer things than polecats, sure.
EVANS
You are a very simplicity ’oman; I pray you, peace.—What is lapis, William?
WILLIAM
A stone.
EVANS
And what is “a stone,” William?
WILLIAM
A pebble.
EVANS
No, it is lapis. I pray you remember in your prain.
WILLIAM
Lapis.
EVANS
That is a good William. What is he, William, that does lend articles?
WILLIAM
Articles are borrowed of the pronoun, and be thus declined: singulariter, nominativo, hic, haec, hoc.
EVANS
Nominativo, hig, haeg, hog, pray you, mark: genitivo, huius. Well, what is your accusative case?
WILLIAM
Accusativo, hinc.
EVANS
I pray you, have your remembrance, child. Accusativo, hung, hang, hog.
MISTRESS QUICKLY
“Hang-hog” is Latin for bacon, I warrant you.
EVANS
Leave your prabbles, ’oman.—What is the focative case, William?
WILLIAM
O—vocativo—O—
EVANS
Remember, William; focative is caret.
MISTRESS QUICKLY
And that’s a good root.
EVANS
’Oman, forbear.
MISTRESS PAGE
Peace.
EVANS
What is your genitive case plural, William?
WILLIAM
Genitive case?
EVANS
Ay.
WILLIAM
Genitive: horum, harum, horum.
MISTRESS QUICKLY
Vengeance of Jenny’s case, fie on her! Never name her, child, if she be a whore.
EVANS
For shame, ’oman.
MISTRESS QUICKLY
You do ill to teach the child such words.—He teaches him to hick and to hack, which they’ll do fast enough of themselves; and to call “whore ’m”!—Fie upon you!
EVANS
’Oman, art lunatics? no understandings for cases, and the numbers of the genders? art as foolish Christian creatures as I would desires.
MISTRESS PAGE
, hold peace.
EVANS
Show me now, William, some declensions of your pronouns.
WILLIAM
, I have forgot.
EVANS
It is qui, quae, quod. If you forget your quis, your quaes, and your quods, you must be preeches. Go your ways and play, go.
MISTRESS PAGE
He is a better scholar than I thought he was.
EVANS
He is a good sprag memory. Farewell, Mistress Page.
MISTRESS PAGE
Adieu, good Sir Hugh.
MISTRESS PAGE
Get you home, boy. Come, we stay too long.