Listen to Act 4. LibriVox volunteers recorded “Act 4” as one track, so it runs past this scene and includes stage directions this page leaves out. LibriVox catalog.
BEROWNE
The King, he is hunting the deer; I am coursing myself. They have pitched a toil; I am toiling in a pitch, pitch that defiles. Defile! A foul word! Well, set down, sorrow, for so they say the fool said, and so say I, and I the fool. Well proved, wit! By the Lord, this love is as mad as Ajax. It kills sheep, it kills me, I a sheep. Well proved again, o’ my side! I will not love; if I do, hang me! I’ faith, I will not. O, but her eye! By this light, but for her eye, I would not love her; yes, for her two eyes. Well, I do nothing in the world but lie, and lie in my throat. By heaven, I do love, and it taught me to rhyme, and to be melancholy. And here is part of my rhyme, and here my melancholy. Well, she one o’ my sonnets already. The clown bore it, the fool sent it, and the lady it. Sweet clown, sweeter fool, sweetest lady! By the world, I would not care a pin if the other three were in. Here comes one with a paper. God give him grace to groan!
KING
Ay me!
BEROWNE
Shot, by heaven! Proceed, sweet Cupid, thumped him with birdbolt under the left pap. In faith, secrets!
KING
So sweet a kiss the golden sun gives not To those fresh morning drops upon the rose, As eye-beams, when their fresh rays have smote The night of dew that on my cheeks down flows. Nor shines the silver moon one half so bright Through the transparent bosom of the deep As face, through tears of mine give light. shin’st in every tear that I do weep. No drop but as a coach carry ; So ridest triumphing in my woe. Do but behold the tears that swell in me, And they glory through my grief will show. But do not love thyself; then wilt keep My tears for glasses, and still make me weep. O queen of queens, how far excel No thought can think, nor tongue of mortal tell. How shall she know my griefs? I’ll drop the paper. Sweet leaves, shade folly. Who is he comes here?
KING
What, Longaville, and reading! Listen, ear.
BEROWNE
Now, in likeness, one more fool appear!
LONGAVILLE
Ay me! I am forsworn.
BEROWNE
Why, he comes in like a perjure, wearing papers.
KING
In love, I hope. Sweet fellowship in shame.
BEROWNE
One drunkard loves another of the name.
LONGAVILLE
Am I the first that have been perjured so?
BEROWNE
I could put in comfort: not by two that I know. makest the triumviry, the corner-cap of society, The shape of love’s Tyburn, that hangs up simplicity.
LONGAVILLE
I fear these stubborn lines lack power to move. O sweet Maria, empress of my love, These numbers will I tear, and write in prose.
BEROWNE
O, rhymes are guards on wanton Cupid’s hose. Disfigure not his shop.
LONGAVILLE
This same shall go.
LONGAVILLE
Did not the heavenly rhetoric of eye, ’Gainst whom the world cannot hold argument, Persuade my heart to this false perjury? Vows for broke deserve not punishment. A woman I forswore, but I will prove, being a goddess, I forswore not . My vow was earthly, a heavenly love; grace being gained, cures all disgrace in me. Vows are but breath, and breath a vapour is. Then , fair sun, which on my earth shine, Exhal’st this vapour-vow; in it is. If broken then, it is no fault of mine; If by me broke, what fool is not so wise To lose an oath to win a paradise?
BEROWNE
This is the liver vein, which makes flesh a deity, A green goose a goddess. Pure, pure idolatry. God amend us, God amend! We are much out o’ th’ way.
LONGAVILLE
By whom shall I send this?—Company! Stay.
BEROWNE
All hid, all hid, an old infant play. Like a demigod here sit I in the sky, And wretched fools’ secrets heedfully o’er-eye. More sacks to the mill. O heavens, I have my wish. Dumaine transformed! Four woodcocks in a dish!
DUMAINE
O most divine Kate!
BEROWNE
O most profane coxcomb!
DUMAINE
By heaven, the wonder in a mortal eye!
BEROWNE
By earth, she is but corporal. There you lie.
DUMAINE
Her amber hairs for foul amber quoted.
BEROWNE
An amber-coloured raven was well noted.
DUMAINE
As upright as the cedar.
BEROWNE
Stoop, I say. Her shoulder is with child.
DUMAINE
As fair as day.
BEROWNE
Ay, as some days, but then no sun must shine.
DUMAINE
O, that I had my wish!
LONGAVILLE
And I had mine!
KING
And I mine too, good Lord!
BEROWNE
Amen, so I had mine. Is not that a good word?
DUMAINE
I would forget her; but a fever she Reigns in my blood, and will remembered be.
BEROWNE
A fever in your blood? Why, then incision Would let her out in saucers. Sweet misprision!
DUMAINE
Once more I’ll read the ode that I have writ.
BEROWNE
Once more I’ll mark how love can vary wit.
DUMAINE
On a day—alack the day!— Love, whose month is ever May, Spied a blossom passing fair Playing in the wanton air. Through the velvet leaves the wind, All unseen, can passage find; That the lover, sick to death, Wished himself the heaven’s breath. “Air,” quoth he, “ cheeks may blow; Air, would I might triumph so!” But, , my hand is sworn to pluck from thorn. Vow, , for youth unmeet, Youth so apt to pluck a sweet. Do not call it sin in me, That I am forsworn for ; for whom Jove would swear Juno but an Ethiope were, And deny himself for Jove, Turning mortal for love. This will I send, and something else more plain, That shall express my true love’s fasting pain. O, would the King, Berowne and Longaville Were lovers too! Ill, to example ill, Would from my forehead wipe a perjured note, For none offend where all alike do dote.
LONGAVILLE
Dumaine, love is far from charity, That in love’s grief desir’st society. You may look pale, but I should blush, I know, To be o’erheard and taken napping so.
KING
Come, sir, you blush. As his, your case is such. You chide at him, offending twice as much. You do not love Maria? Longaville Did never sonnet for her sake compile, Nor never lay his wreathed arms athwart His loving bosom to keep down his heart. I have been closely shrouded in this bush, And marked you both, and for you both did blush. I heard your guilty rhymes, observed your fashion, Saw sighs reek from you, noted well your passion. “Ay, me!” says one. “O Jove!” the other cries. One, her hairs were gold; crystal the other’s eyes. You would for paradise break faith and troth; And Jove, for your love would infringe an oath. What will Berowne say when that he shall hear Faith infringed which such zeal did swear? How will he scorn, how will he spend his wit! How will he triumph, leap, and laugh at it! For all the wealth that ever I did see, I would not have him know so much by me.
BEROWNE
Now step I forth to whip hypocrisy. Ah, good my liege, I pray pardon me. Good heart, what grace thus to reprove These worms for loving, that art most in love? Your eyes do make no coaches; in your tears There is no certain princess that appears. You’ll not be perjured, a hateful thing: Tush, none but minstrels like of sonneting! But are you not ashamed? Nay, are you not, All three of you, to be thus much o’ershot? You found his mote, the King your mote did see; But I a beam do find in each of three. O, what a scene of foolery have I seen, Of sighs, of groans, of sorrow, and of teen! O me, with what strict patience have I sat, To see a king transformed to a gnat! To see great Hercules whipping a gig, And profound Solomon to tune a jig, And Nestor play at push-pin with the boys, And critic Timon laugh at idle toys. Where lies grief, O, tell me, good Dumaine? And, gentle Longaville, where lies pain? And where my liege’s? All about the breast? A caudle, ho!
KING
Too bitter is jest. Are we betrayed thus to over-view?
BEROWNE
Not you to me, but I betrayed by you. I that am honest, I that hold it sin To break the vow I am engaged in. I am betrayed by keeping company With men like you, men of inconstancy. When shall you see me write a thing in rhyme? Or groan for Joan? Or spend a minute’s time In pruning me? When shall you hear that I Will praise a hand, a foot, a face, an eye, A gait, a state, a brow, a breast, a waist, A leg, a limb—
KING
Soft! away so fast? A true man, or a thief, that gallops so?
BEROWNE
I post from love. Good lover, let me go.
JAQUENETTA
God bless the King!
KING
What present there?
COSTARD
Some certain treason.
KING
What makes treason here?
COSTARD
Nay, it makes nothing, sir.
KING
If it mar nothing neither, The treason and you go in peace away together.
JAQUENETTA
I beseech your Grace, let this letter be read. Our person misdoubts it; treason, he said.
KING
Berowne, read it over.
KING
Where hadst it?
JAQUENETTA
Of Costard.
KING
Where hadst it?
COSTARD
Of Dun Adramadio, Dun Adramadio.
KING
How now, what is in you? Why tear it?
BEROWNE
A toy, my liege, a toy. Your Grace needs not fear it.
LONGAVILLE
It did move him to passion, and therefore let’s hear it.
DUMAINE
It is Berowne’s writing, and here is his name.
BEROWNE
Ah, you whoreson loggerhead, you were born to do me shame. Guilty, my lord, guilty. I confess, I confess.
KING
What?
BEROWNE
That you three fools lacked me fool to make up the mess. He, he, and you—and you, my liege—and I Are pick-purses in love, and we deserve to die. O, dismiss this audience, and I shall tell you more.
DUMAINE
Now the number is even.
BEROWNE
True, true, we are four. Will these turtles be gone?
KING
, sirs, away!
COSTARD
Walk aside the true folk, and let the traitors stay.
BEROWNE
Sweet lords, sweet lovers, O, let us embrace! As true we are as flesh and blood can be. The sea will ebb and flow, heaven show his face; Young blood not obey an old decree. We cannot cross the cause why we were born; Therefore of all hands must we be forsworn.
KING
What, did these rent lines show some love of ?
BEROWNE
“Did they?” quoth you? Who sees the heavenly Rosaline That, like a rude and savage man of Ind, At the first op’ning of the gorgeous east, Bows not his vassal head and, strucken blind, Kisses the base ground with obedient breast? What peremptory eagle-sighted eye Dares look upon the heaven of her brow That is not blinded by her majesty?
KING
What zeal, what fury inspired now? My love, her mistress, is a gracious moon; She, an attending star, scarce seen a light.
BEROWNE
My eyes are then no eyes, nor I Berowne. O, but for my love, day would turn to night! Of all complexions the culled sovereignty Do meet as at a fair in her fair cheek, Where several worthies make one dignity, Where nothing wants that want itself seek. Lend me the flourish of all gentle tongues— Fie, painted rhetoric! O, she needs it not. To things of sale a seller’s praise belongs. She passes praise; then praise too short blot. A withered hermit, five-score winters worn, Might shake off fifty, looking in her eye. Beauty varnish age, as if new born, And gives the crutch the cradle’s infancy. O, the sun that maketh all things shine!
KING
By heaven, love is black as ebony.
BEROWNE
Is ebony like her? O word divine! A wife of such wood were felicity. O, who can give an oath? Where is a book? That I may swear beauty beauty lack If that she learn not of her eye to look. No face is fair that is not full so black.
KING
O paradox! Black is the badge of hell, The hue of dungeons and the school of night; And beauty’s crest becomes the heavens well.
BEROWNE
Devils soonest tempt, resembling spirits of light. O, if in black my lady’s brows be decked, It mourns that painting and usurping hair Should ravish doters with a false aspect; And therefore is she born to make black fair. Her favour turns the fashion of the days, For native blood is counted painting now; And therefore red, that would avoid dispraise, Paints itself black, to imitate her brow.
DUMAINE
To look like her are chimney-sweepers black.
LONGAVILLE
And since her time are colliers counted bright.
KING
And Ethiopes of their sweet complexion crack.
DUMAINE
Dark needs no candles now, for dark is light.
BEROWNE
Your mistresses dare never come in rain, For fear their colours should be washed away.
KING
’Twere good yours did; for, sir, to tell you plain, I’ll find a fairer face not washed today.
BEROWNE
I’ll prove her fair, or talk till doomsday here.
KING
No devil will fright then so much as she.
DUMAINE
I never knew man hold vile stuff so dear.
LONGAVILLE
Look, here’s love, my foot and her face see.
BEROWNE
O, if the streets were paved with eyes, Her feet were much too dainty for such tread.
DUMAINE
O vile! Then, as she goes, what upward lies The street should see as she walked over head.
KING
But what of this? Are we not all in love?
BEROWNE
Nothing so sure, and thereby all forsworn.
KING
Then leave this chat, and, good Berowne, now prove Our loving lawful, and our faith not torn.
DUMAINE
Ay, marry, there; some flattery for this evil.
LONGAVILLE
O, some authority how to proceed. Some tricks, some quillets, how to cheat the devil.
DUMAINE
Some salve for perjury.
BEROWNE
O, more than need. Have at you, then, affection’s men-at-arms. Consider what you first did swear unto: To fast, to study, and to see no woman— Flat treason ’gainst the kingly state of youth. Say, can you fast? Your stomachs are too young, And abstinence engenders maladies. O, we have made a vow to study, lords, And in that vow we have forsworn our books; For when would you, my liege, or you, or you, In leaden contemplation have found out Such fiery numbers as the prompting eyes Of beauty’s tutors have enriched you with? Other slow arts entirely keep the brain, And therefore, finding barren practisers, Scarce show a harvest of their heavy toil; But love, first learned in a lady’s eyes, Lives not alone immured in the brain, But with the motion of all elements Courses as swift as thought in every power, And gives to every power a double power, Above their functions and their offices. It adds a precious seeing to the eye. A lover’s eyes will gaze an eagle blind. A lover’s ear will hear the lowest sound, When the suspicious head of theft is stopped. Love’s feeling is more soft and sensible Than are the tender horns of cockled snails. Love’s tongue proves dainty Bacchus gross in taste. For valour, is not Love a Hercules, Still climbing trees in the Hesperides? Subtle as Sphinx, as sweet and musical As bright Apollo’s lute, strung with his hair. And when Love speaks, the voice of all the gods Make heaven drowsy with the harmony. Never durst poet touch a pen to write Until his ink were tempered with Love’s sighs. O, then his lines would ravish savage ears And plant in tyrants mild humility. From women’s eyes this doctrine I derive. They sparkle still the right Promethean fire; They are the books, the arts, the academes, That show, contain, and nourish, all the world; Else none at all in proves excellent. Then fools you were these women to forswear, Or, keeping what is sworn, you will prove fools. For wisdom’s sake, a word that all men love, Or for love’s sake, a word that loves all men, Or for men’s sake, the authors of these women, Or women’s sake, by whom we men are men, Let us once lose our oaths to find ourselves, Or else we lose ourselves to keep our oaths. It is religion to be thus forsworn, For charity itself fulfils the law, And who can sever love from charity?
KING
Saint Cupid, then, and, soldiers, to the field!
BEROWNE
Advance your standards, and upon them, lords! Pell-mell, down with them! But be first advised In conflict that you get the sun of them.
LONGAVILLE
Now to plain dealing. Lay these glozes by. Shall we resolve to woo these girls of France?
KING
And win them too. Therefore let us devise Some entertainment for them in their tents.
BEROWNE
First, from the park let us conduct them . Then homeward every man attach the hand Of his fair mistress. In the afternoon We will with some strange pastime solace them, Such as the shortness of the time can shape; For revels, dances, masques, and merry hours Forerun fair Love, strewing her way with flowers.
KING
Away, away! No time shall be omitted That will betime and may by us be fitted.
BEROWNE
Allons! allons! Sowed cockle reaped no corn, And justice always whirls in equal measure. Light wenches may prove plagues to men forsworn; If so, our copper buys no better treasure.