ANGELO
I am sorry, sir, that I have hinder’d you,
But I protest he had the chain of me,
Though most dishonestly he deny it.
MERCHANT
How is the man esteem’d here in the city?
ANGELO
Of very reverend reputation, sir,
Of credit infinite, highly belov’d,
Second to none that lives here in the city.
His word might bear my wealth at any time.
MERCHANT
Speak softly. Yonder, as I think, he walks.
ANGELO
so; and that self chain about his neck
Which he forswore most monstrously to have.
Good sir, draw near to me, I’ll speak to him.
Signior Antipholus, I wonder much
That you would put me to this shame and trouble,
And not without some scandal to yourself,
With circumstance and oaths so to deny
This chain, which now you wear so openly.
Beside the charge, the shame, imprisonment,
You have done wrong to this my honest friend,
Who, but for staying on our controversy,
Had hoisted sail and put to sea today.
This chain you had of me, can you deny it?
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
I think I had: I never did deny it.
MERCHANT
Yes, that you did, sir, and forswore it too.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
Who heard me to deny it or forswear it?
MERCHANT
These ears of mine, know’st, did hear .
Fie on , wretch. pity that liv’st
To walk where any honest men resort.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
art a villain to impeach me thus;
I’ll prove mine honour and mine honesty
Against , if dar’st stand.
MERCHANT
I dare, and do defy for a villain.
ADRIANA
Hold, hurt him not, for God’s sake, he is mad.
Some get within him, take his sword away.
Bind Dromio too, and bear them to my house.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
Run, master, run, for God’s sake, take a house.
This is some priory; in, or we are spoil’d.
ABBESS
Be quiet, people. throng you ?
ADRIANA
To fetch my poor distracted husband .
Let us come in, that we may bind him fast
And bear him home for his recovery.
ANGELO
I knew he was not in his perfect wits.
MERCHANT
I am sorry now that I did draw on him.
ABBESS
How long this possession held the man?
ADRIANA
This week he been heavy, sour, sad,
And much different from the man he was.
But till this afternoon his passion
brake into extremity of rage.
ABBESS
he not lost much wealth by wreck of sea?
Buried some dear friend? not else his eye
Stray’d his affection in unlawful love?
A sin prevailing much in youthful men
Who give their eyes the liberty of gazing?
Which of these sorrows is he subject to?
ADRIANA
To none of these, except it be the last,
Namely, some love that drew him from home.
ABBESS
You should for that have reprehended him.
ADRIANA
Why, so I did.
ABBESS
Ay, but not rough enough.
ADRIANA
As roughly as my modesty would let me.
ABBESS
Haply in private.
ADRIANA
And in assemblies too.
ABBESS
Ay, but not enough.
ADRIANA
It was the copy of our conference.
In bed he slept not for my urging it;
At board he fed not for my urging it;
Alone, it was the subject of my theme;
In company I often glanced it;
Still did I tell him it was vile and bad.
ABBESS
And thereof came it that the man was mad.
The venom clamours of a jealous woman
Poisons more deadly than a mad dog’s tooth.
It seems his sleeps were hindered by railing,
And thereof comes it that his head is light.
say’st his meat was sauc’d with upbraidings.
Unquiet meals make ill digestions;
Thereof the raging fire of fever bred,
And what’s a fever but a fit of madness?
say’st his sports were hinder’d by brawls.
Sweet recreation barr’d, what ensue
But moody and dull melancholy,
Kinsman to grim and comfortless despair,
And at her heels a huge infectious troop
Of pale distemperatures and foes to life?
In food, in sport, and life-preserving rest
To be disturb’d would mad or man or beast.
The consequence is, then, jealous fits
scar’d husband from the use of’s wits.
LUCIANA
She never reprehended him but mildly,
When he demean’d himself rough, rude, and wildly.
Why bear you these rebukes and answer not?
ADRIANA
She did betray me to my own reproof.
Good people, enter and lay hold on him.
ABBESS
No, not a creature enters in my house.
ADRIANA
Then let your servants bring my husband forth.
ABBESS
Neither. He took this place for sanctuary,
And it shall privilege him from your hands
Till I have brought him to his wits again,
Or lose my labour in assaying it.
ADRIANA
I will attend my husband, be his nurse,
Diet his sickness, for it is my office,
And will have no attorney but myself;
And therefore let me have him home with me.
ABBESS
Be patient, for I will not let him stir
Till I have used the approved means I have,
With wholesome syrups, drugs, and holy prayers,
To make of him a formal man again.
It is a branch and parcel of mine oath,
A charitable duty of my order;
Therefore depart, and leave him here with me.
ADRIANA
I will not and leave my husband here;
And ill it beseem your holiness
To separate the husband and the wife.
ABBESS
Be quiet and depart. not have him.
LUCIANA
Complain unto the duke of this indignity.
ADRIANA
Come, go. I will fall prostrate at his feet,
And never rise until my tears and prayers
Have won his grace to come in person
And take perforce my husband from the abbess.
MERCHANT
By this, I think, the dial points at five.
, I’m sure, the Duke himself in person
Comes this way to the melancholy vale,
The place of death and sorry execution
Behind the ditches of the abbey here.
ANGELO
Upon what cause?
MERCHANT
To see a reverend Syracusian merchant,
Who put unluckily into this bay
Against the laws and statutes of this town,
Beheaded publicly for his offence.
ANGELO
See where they come. We will behold his death.
LUCIANA
Kneel to the Duke before he pass the abbey.
DUKE
Yet once again proclaim it publicly,
If any friend will pay the sum for him,
He shall not die; so much we tender him.
ADRIANA
Justice, most sacred duke, against the abbess!
DUKE
She is a virtuous and a reverend lady,
It cannot be that she done wrong.
ADRIANA
May it please your grace, Antipholus, my husband,
Who I made lord of me and all I had
At your important letters, this ill day
A most outrageous fit of madness took him;
That desp’rately he hurried through the street,
With him his bondman all as mad as he,
Doing displeasure to the citizens
By rushing in their houses, bearing
Rings, jewels, anything his rage did like.
Once did I get him bound and sent him home,
Whilst to take order for the wrongs I went,
That here and there his fury had committed.
, I wot not by what strong escape,
He broke from those that had the guard of him,
And with his mad attendant and himself,
Each one with ireful passion, with drawn swords,
Met us again, and, madly bent on us,
Chased us away; till raising of more aid,
We came again to bind them. Then they fled
Into this abbey, we pursued them.
And here the abbess shuts the gates on us,
And will not suffer us to fetch him out,
Nor send him forth that we may bear him .
Therefore, most gracious duke, with command
Let him be brought forth and borne for help.
DUKE
Long since husband serv’d me in my wars,
And I to engag’d a prince’s word,
When make him master of bed,
To do him all the grace and good I could.
Go, some of you, knock at the abbey gate,
And bid the lady abbess come to me.
I will determine this before I stir.
MESSENGER
O mistress, mistress, shift and save yourself.
My master and his man are both broke loose,
Beaten the maids a-row, and bound the doctor,
Whose beard they have singed off with brands of fire,
And ever as it blazed they threw on him
Great pails of puddled mire to quench the hair.
My master preaches patience to him, and the while
His man with scissors nicks him like a fool;
And sure (unless you send some present help)
Between them they will kill the conjurer.
ADRIANA
Peace, fool, master and his man are here,
And that is false report to us.
MESSENGER
Mistress, upon my life, I tell you true.
I have not breath’d almost since I did see it.
He cries for you, and vows, if he can take you,
To scorch your face and to disfigure you.
MESSENGER
Hark, hark, I hear him, mistress. Fly, be gone!
DUKE
Come, stand by me, fear nothing. Guard with halberds.
ADRIANA
Ay me, it is my husband. Witness you
That he is borne about invisible.
Even now we hous’d him in the abbey here,
And now he’s there, past thought of human reason.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
Justice, most gracious duke; O, grant me justice!
Even for the service that long since I did
When I bestrid in the wars, and took
Deep scars to save life; even for the blood
That then I lost for , now grant me justice.
EGEON
Unless the fear of death make me dote,
I see my son Antipholus and Dromio.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
Justice, sweet prince, against that woman there.
She whom gav’st to me to be my wife;
That abused and dishonour’d me
Even in the strength and height of injury.
Beyond imagination is the wrong
That she this day shameless thrown on me.
DUKE
Discover how, and find me just.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
This day, great duke, she shut the doors upon me
While she with harlots feasted in my house.
DUKE
A grievous fault. Say, woman, so?
ADRIANA
No, my good lord. Myself, he, and my sister
Today did dine together. So befall my soul
As this is false he burdens me .
LUCIANA
may I look on day nor sleep on night
But she tells to your highness simple truth.
ANGELO
O perjur’d woman! They are both forsworn.
In this the madman justly chargeth them.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
My liege, I am advised what I say,
Neither disturb’d with the effect of wine,
Nor heady-rash, provok’d with raging ire,
Albeit my wrongs might make one wiser mad.
This woman lock’d me out this day from dinner.
That goldsmith there, were he not pack’d with her,
Could witness it, for he was with me then,
Who parted with me to go fetch a chain,
Promising to bring it to the Porpentine,
Where Balthasar and I did dine together.
Our dinner done, and he not coming ,
I went to seek him. In the street I met him,
And in his company that gentleman.
There did this perjur’d goldsmith swear me down
That I this day of him receiv’d the chain,
Which, God he knows, I saw not. For the which
He did arrest me with an officer.
I did obey, and sent my peasant home
For certain ducats. He with none return’d.
Then fairly I bespoke the officer
To go in person with me to my house.
By th’ way we met
My wife, her sister, and a rabble more
Of vile confederates. Along with them
They brought one Pinch, a hungry lean-faced villain,
A mere anatomy, a mountebank,
A threadbare juggler, and a fortune-teller;
A needy, hollow-ey’d, sharp-looking wretch;
A living dead man. This pernicious slave,
, took on him as a conjurer,
And gazing in mine eyes, feeling my pulse,
And with no face (as ’twere) outfacing me,
Cries out, I was possess’d. Then altogether
They fell upon me, bound me, bore me ,
And in a dark and dankish vault at home
There left me and my man, both bound together,
Till gnawing with my teeth my bonds in sunder,
I gain’d my freedom and immediately
Ran to your Grace, whom I beseech
To give me ample satisfaction
For these deep shames and great indignities.
ANGELO
My lord, in truth, thus far I witness with him,
That he din’d not at home, but was lock’d out.
DUKE
But had he such a chain of , or no?
ANGELO
He had, my lord, and when he ran in here
These people saw the chain about his neck.
MERCHANT
Besides, I will be sworn these ears of mine
Heard you confess you had the chain of him,
After you first forswore it on the mart,
And thereupon I drew my sword on you;
And then you fled into this abbey here,
From I think you are come by miracle.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
I never came within these abbey walls,
Nor ever draw sword on me.
I never saw the chain, so help me heaven;
And this is false you burden me .
DUKE
Why, what an intricate impeach is this!
I think you all have drunk of Circe’s cup.
If here you hous’d him, here he would have been.
If he were mad, he would not plead so coldly.
You say he din’d at home, the goldsmith here
Denies that saying. , what say you?
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
Sir, he dined with her there, at the Porpentine.
COURTESAN
He did, and from my finger snatch’d that ring.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
true, my liege, this ring I had of her.
DUKE
Saw’st him enter at the abbey here?
COURTESAN
As sure, my liege, as I do see your grace.
DUKE
Why, this is strange. Go call the abbess .
I think you are all mated, or stark mad.
EGEON
Most mighty Duke, vouchsafe me speak a word;
Haply I see a friend will save my life
And pay the sum that may deliver me.
DUKE
Speak freely, Syracusian, what wilt.
EGEON
Is not your name, sir, call’d Antipholus?
And is not that your bondman Dromio?
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
Within this hour I was his bondman, sir,
But he, I thank him, gnaw’d in two my cords.
Now am I Dromio, and his man, unbound.
EGEON
I am sure you both of you remember me.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
Ourselves we do remember, sir, by you.
For lately we were bound as you are now.
You are not Pinch’s patient, are you, sir?
EGEON
Why look you strange on me? you know me well.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
I never saw you in my life till now.
EGEON
O! grief chang’d me since you saw me last,
And careful hours with time’s deformed hand,
Have written strange defeatures in my face.
But tell me yet, not know my voice?
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
Neither.
EGEON
Dromio, nor ?
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
No, trust me, sir, nor I.
EGEON
I am sure .
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
Ay, sir, but I am sure I do not, and whatsoever a man denies, you are now bound to believe him.
EGEON
Not know my voice! O time’s extremity,
so crack’d and splitted my poor tongue
In seven short years that here my only son
Knows not my feeble key of untun’d cares?
Though now this grained face of mine be hid
In sap-consuming winter’s drizzled snow,
And all the conduits of my blood froze up,
Yet my night of life some memory,
My wasting lamps some fading glimmer left,
My dull deaf ears a little use to hear.
All these old witnesses, I cannot err,
Tell me art my son Antipholus.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
I never saw my father in my life.
EGEON
But seven years since, in Syracusa, boy,
know’st we parted; but perhaps, my son,
sham’st to acknowledge me in misery.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
The duke and all that know me in the city,
Can witness with me that it is not so.
I saw Syracusa in my life.
DUKE
I tell , Syracusian, twenty years
Have I been patron to Antipholus,
During which time he saw Syracusa.
I see age and dangers make dote.
ABBESS
Most mighty duke, behold a man much wrong’d.
ADRIANA
I see two husbands, or mine eyes deceive me.
DUKE
One of these men is genius to the other;
And so of these, which is the natural man,
And which the spirit? Who deciphers them?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
I, sir, am Dromio, command him away.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
I, sir, am Dromio, pray let me stay.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
Egeon, art not? or else his ghost?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
O, my old master, who bound him here?
ABBESS
Whoever bound him, I will loose his bonds,
And gain a husband by his liberty.
Speak, old Egeon, if be’st the man
That hadst a wife once called Emilia,
That bore at a burden two fair sons.
O, if be’st the same Egeon, speak,
And speak unto the same Emilia!
DUKE
Why, here begins his morning story right:
These two Antipholus’, these two so like,
And these two Dromios, one in semblance,
Besides her urging of her wreck at sea.
These are the parents to these children,
Which accidentally are met together.
EGEON
If I dream not, art Emilia.
If art she, tell me where is that son
That floated with on the fatal raft?
ABBESS
By men of Epidamnum, he and I
And the twin Dromio, all were taken up;
But, by and by, rude fishermen of Corinth
By force took Dromio and my son from them,
And me they left with those of Epidamnum.
What then became of them I cannot tell;
I to this fortune that you see me in.
DUKE
Antipholus, cam’st from Corinth first?
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
No, sir, not I, I came from Syracuse.
DUKE
Stay, stand apart, I know not which is which.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
I came from Corinth, my most gracious lord.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
And I with him.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
Brought to this town by that most famous warrior,
Duke Menaphon, your most renowned uncle.
ADRIANA
Which of you two did dine with me today?
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
I, gentle mistress.
ADRIANA
And are not you my husband?
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
No, I say nay to that.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
And so do I, yet did she call me so;
And this fair gentlewoman, her sister here,
Did call me brother. What I told you then,
I hope I shall have leisure to make good,
If this be not a dream I see and hear.
ANGELO
That is the chain, sir, which you had of me.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
I think it be, sir. I deny it not.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
And you, sir, for this chain arrested me.
ANGELO
I think I did, sir. I deny it not.
ADRIANA
I sent you money, sir, to be your bail
By Dromio, but I think he brought it not.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
No, none by me.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
This purse of ducats I receiv’d from you,
And Dromio my man did bring them me.
I see we still did meet each other’s man,
And I was ta’en for him, and he for me,
And thereupon these errors are arose.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
These ducats pawn I for my father here.
DUKE
It shall not need, father his life.
COURTESAN
Sir, I must have that diamond from you.
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
There, take it, and much thanks for my good cheer.
ABBESS
Renowned duke, vouchsafe to take the pains
To go with us into the abbey here,
And hear at large discoursed all our fortunes;
And all that are assembled in this place,
That by this sympathised one day’s error
Have suffer’d wrong, go, keep us company,
And we shall make full satisfaction.
Thirty-three years have I but gone in travail
Of you, my sons, and till this present hour
My heavy burden delivered.
The duke, my husband, and my children both,
And you, the calendars of their nativity,
Go to a gossips’ feast, and go with me.
After so long grief, such nativity.
DUKE
With all my heart, I’ll gossip at this feast.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
Master, shall I fetch your stuff from shipboard?
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS
Dromio, what stuff of mine embark’d?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
Your goods that lay at host, sir, in the Centaur.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
He speaks to me; I am your master, Dromio.
Come, go with us. We’ll look to that .
Embrace brother there, rejoice with him.
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
There is a fat friend at your master’s house,
That kitchen’d me for you today at dinner.
She now shall be my sister, not my wife.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
you are my glass, and not my brother.
I see by you I am a sweet-faced youth.
Will you walk in to see their gossiping?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
Not I, sir, you are my elder.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
That’s a question, how shall we try it?
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
We’ll draw cuts for the senior. Till then, lead first.
DROMIO OF EPHESUS
Nay, then, thus:
We came into the world like brother and brother,
And now let’s go hand in hand, not one before another.