SPEED
Lance, by mine honesty, welcome to Milan!
LANCE
Forswear not thyself, sweet youth, for I am not welcome. I reckon this always, that a man is never undone till he be hanged, nor never welcome to a place till some certain shot be paid and the hostess say “Welcome”.
SPEED
Come on, you madcap. I’ll to the alehouse with you , where, for one shot of five pence, have five thousand welcomes. But, , how did master part with Madam Julia?
LANCE
Marry, after they closed in earnest, they parted very fairly in jest.
SPEED
But shall she marry him?
LANCE
No.
SPEED
How then? Shall he marry her?
LANCE
No, neither.
SPEED
What, are they broken?
LANCE
No, they are both as whole as a fish.
SPEED
Why then, how stands the matter with them?
LANCE
Marry, thus: when it stands well with him, it stands well with her.
SPEED
What an ass art ! I understand not.
LANCE
What a block art that canst not! My staff understands me.
SPEED
What sayst?
LANCE
Ay, and what I do too. Look , I’ll but lean, and my staff understands me.
SPEED
It stands under indeed.
LANCE
Why, stand-under and under-stand is all one.
SPEED
But tell me true, will’t be a match?
LANCE
Ask my dog. If he say “Ay”, it will; if he say “No”, it will; if he shake his tail and say nothing, it will.
SPEED
The conclusion is, then, that it will.
LANCE
never get such a secret from me but by a parable.
SPEED
well that I get it so. But, Lance, how sayst that my master is become a notable lover?
LANCE
I never knew him otherwise.
SPEED
Than how?
LANCE
A notable lubber, as reportest him to be.
SPEED
Why, whoreson ass, mistak’st me.
LANCE
Why, fool, I meant not , I meant master.
SPEED
I tell , my master is become a hot lover.
LANCE
Why, I tell , I care not though he burn himself in love. If wilt, go with me to the alehouse; if not, art an Hebrew, a Jew, and not worth the name of a Christian.
SPEED
Why?
LANCE
Because not so much charity in as to go to the ale with a Christian. Wilt go?
SPEED
At service.