Act 1, Scene 2

VENTIDIUS

Most honoured Timon,
It hath pleased the gods to remember my father’s age
And call him to long peace.
He is gone happy and has left me rich.
Then, as in grateful virtue I am bound
To your free heart, I do return those talents,
Doubled with thanks and service, from whose help
I derived liberty.

TIMON

O, by no means,
Honest Ventidius. You mistake my love.
I gave it freely ever, and there’s none
Can truly say he gives if he receives.
If our betters play at that game, we must not dare
To imitate them; faults that are rich are fair.

VENTIDIUS

A noble spirit!

TIMON

Nay, my lords, ceremony was but devised at first
To set a gloss on faint deeds, hollow welcomes,
Recanting goodness, sorry ere ’tis shown;
But where there is true friendship there needs none.
Pray, sit, more welcome are ye to my fortunes
Than my fortunes to me.

FIRST LORD

My lord, we always have confessed it.

APEMANTUS

Ho, ho, confessed it? Hanged it, have you not?

TIMON

O Apemantus, you are welcome.

APEMANTUS

No,
You shall not make me welcome.
I come to have thee thrust me out of doors.

TIMON

Fie, thou’rt a churl, ye’ve got a humour there
Does not become a man; ’tis much to blame.
They say, my lords, ira furor brevis est,
But yond man is ever angry.
Go, let him have a table by himself,
For he does neither affect company,
Nor is he fit for it indeed.

APEMANTUS

Let me stay at thine apperil, Timon.
I come to observe; I give thee warning on’t.

TIMON

I take no heed of thee. Thou’rt an Athenian, therefore, welcome. I myself would have no power; prithee; let my meat make thee silent.

APEMANTUS

I scorn thy meat, ’twould choke me, for I should ne’er flatter thee. O you gods, what a number of men eats Timon, and he sees ’em not! It grieves me to see so many dip their meat in one man’s blood; and all the madness is, he cheers them up too.
I wonder men dare trust themselves with men.
Methinks they should invite them without knives.
Good for their meat, and safer for their lives.
There’s much example for ’t. The fellow that sits next him, now parts bread with him, pledges the breath of him in a divided draft, is the readiest man to kill him. ’T has been proved. If I were a huge man, I should fear to drink at meals,
Lest they should spy my wind-pipe’s dangerous notes.
Great men should drink with harness on their throats.

TIMON

My lord, in heart, and let the health go round.

SECOND LORD

Let it flow this way, my good lord.

APEMANTUS

Flow this way? A brave fellow! He keeps his tides well. Those healths will make thee and thy state look ill, Timon.
Here’s that which is too weak to be a sinner,
Honest water, which ne’er left man i’ the mire.
This and my food are equals, there’s no odds.
Feasts are too proud to give thanks to the gods.

APEMANTUS

Immortal gods, I crave no pelf,
I pray for no man but myself.
Grant I may never prove so fond
To trust man on his oath or bond,
Or a harlot for her weeping,
Or a dog that seems a-sleeping,
Or a keeper with my freedom,
Or my friends if I should need ’em.
Amen. So fall to’t.
Rich men sin, and I eat root.

APEMANTUS

Much good dich thy good heart, Apemantus!

TIMON

Captain Alcibiades, your heart’s in the field now.

ALCIBIADES

My heart is ever at your service, my lord.

TIMON

You had rather be at a breakfast of enemies than a dinner of friends.

ALCIBIADES

So they were bleeding new, my lord, there’s no meat like ’em. I could wish my best friend at such a feast.

APEMANTUS

Would all those flatterers were thine enemies then, that then thou mightst kill ’em, and bid me to ’em.

FIRST LORD

Might we but have that happiness, my lord, that you would once use our hearts, whereby we might express some part of our zeals, we should think ourselves for ever perfect.

TIMON

O, no doubt, my good friends, but the gods themselves have provided that I shall have much help from you. How had you been my friends else? Why have you that charitable title from thousands, did not you chiefly belong to my heart? I have told more of you to myself than you can with modesty speak in your own behalf. And thus far I confirm you. O you gods, think I, what need we have any friends if we should ne’er have need of ’em? They were the most needless creatures living, should we ne’er have use for ’em, and would most resemble sweet instruments hung up in cases, that keep their sounds to themselves. Why, I have often wished myself poorer that I might come nearer to you. We are born to do benefits, and what better or properer can we call our own than the riches of our friends? O, what a precious comfort ’tis to have so many, like brothers, commanding one another’s fortunes. O joy’s e’en made away ere’t can be born! Mine eyes cannot hold out water, methinks. To forget their faults, I drink to you.

APEMANTUS

Thou weep’st to make them drink, Timon.

SECOND LORD

Joy had the like conception in our eyes
And, at that instant like a babe sprung up.

APEMANTUS

Ho, ho! I laugh to think that babe a bastard.

THIRD LORD

I promise you, my lord, you moved me much.

APEMANTUS

Much!

TIMON

What means that trump?

TIMON

How now?

SERVANT

Please you, my lord, there are certain ladies most desirous of admittance.

TIMON

Ladies? What are their wills?

SERVANT

There comes with them a forerunner, my lord, which bears that office, to signify their pleasures.

TIMON

I pray, let them be admitted.

CUPID

Hail to thee, worthy Timon, and to all
That of his bounties taste! The five best senses
Acknowledge thee their patron and come freely
To gratulate thy plenteous bosom. There
Taste, touch, all, pleased from thy table rise;
They only now come but to feast thine eyes.

TIMON

They’re welcome all, let ’em have kind admittance.
Music, make their welcome!

FIRST LORD

You see, my lord, how ample you’re beloved.

APEMANTUS

Hoy-day!
What a sweep of vanity comes this way.
They dance? They are madwomen.
Like madness is the glory of this life,
As this pomp shows to a little oil and root.
We make ourselves fools to disport ourselves,
And spend our flatteries to drink those men
Upon whose age we void it up again
With poisonous spite and envy.
Who lives that’s not depraved or depraves?
Who dies that bears not one spurn to their graves
Of their friend’s gift?
I should fear those that dance before me now
Would one day stamp upon me. ’T has been done.
Men shut their doors against a setting sun.

TIMON

You have done our pleasures much grace, fair ladies,
Set a fair fashion on our entertainment,
Which was not half so beautiful and kind.
You have added worth unto ’t and lustre,
And entertained me with mine own device.
I am to thank you for ’t.

FIRST LADY

My lord, you take us even at the best.

APEMANTUS

Faith, for the worst is filthy and would not hold taking, I doubt me.

TIMON

Ladies, there is an idle banquet attends you,
Please you to dispose yourselves.

ALL LADIES

Most thankfully, my lord.

TIMON

Flavius!

FLAVIUS

My lord?

TIMON

The little casket bring me hither.

FLAVIUS

Yes, my lord. More jewels yet?
There is no crossing him in ’s humour;
Else I should tell him well, i’ faith, I should,
When all’s spent, he’d be crossed then, an he could.
’Tis pity bounty had not eyes behind,
That man might ne’er be wretched for his mind.

FIRST LORD

Where be our men?

SERVANT

Here, my lord, in readiness.

SECOND LORD

Our horses!

TIMON

O, my friends, I have one word
To say to you. Look you, my good lord,
I must entreat you, honour me so much
As to advance this jewel. Accept it and wear it,
Kind my lord.

FIRST LORD

I am so far already in your gifts—

ALL

So are we all.

SERVANT

My lord, there are certain nobles of the Senate
Newly alighted and come to visit you.

TIMON

They are fairly welcome.

FLAVIUS

I beseech your honour,
Vouchsafe me a word. It does concern you near.

TIMON

Near? Why then, another time I’ll hear thee.
I prithee let’s be provided to show them entertainment.

FLAVIUS

I scarce know how.

SECOND SERVANT

May it please your honour, Lord Lucius,
Out of his free love, hath presented to you
Four milk-white horses, trapped in silver.

TIMON

I shall accept them fairly; let the presents
Be worthily entertained.

TIMON

How now? What news?

THIRD SERVANT

Please you, my lord, that honourable gentleman, Lord Lucullus, entreats your company tomorrow to hunt with him and has sent your honour two brace of greyhounds.

TIMON

I’ll hunt with him; and let them be received,
Not without fair reward.

FLAVIUS

What will this come to?
He commands us to provide, and give great gifts,
And all out of an empty coffer;
Nor will he know his purse or yield me this:
To show him what a beggar his heart is,
Being of no power to make his wishes good.
His promises fly so beyond his state
That what he speaks is all in debt; he owes
For every word. He is so kind that he now
Pays interest for ’t; his land’s put to their books.
Well, would I were gently put out of office
Before I were forced out.
Happier is he that has no friend to feed
Than such that do e’en enemies exceed.
I bleed inwardly for my lord.

TIMON

You do yourselves much wrong,
You bate too much of your own merits.
Here, my lord, a trifle of our love.

SECOND LORD

With more than common thanks I will receive it.

THIRD LORD

O, he’s the very soul of bounty!

TIMON

And now I remember, my lord, you gave good words the other day of a bay courser I rode on. ’Tis yours because you liked it.

THIRD LORD

O, I beseech you, pardon me, my lord, in that.

TIMON

You may take my word, my lord. I know no man
Can justly praise but what he does affect.
I weigh my friend’s affection with mine own.
I’ll tell you true, I’ll call to you.

ALL LORDS

O, none so welcome!

TIMON

I take all and your several visitations
So kind to heart, ’tis not enough to give;
Methinks I could deal kingdoms to my friends,
And ne’er be weary. Alcibiades,
Thou art a soldier, therefore seldom rich.
It comes in charity to thee, for all thy living
Is ’mongst the dead, and all the lands thou hast
Lie in a pitched field.

ALCIBIADES

Ay, defiled land, my lord.

FIRST LORD

We are so virtuously bound—

TIMON

And so am I to you.

SECOND LORD

So infinitely endeared—

TIMON

All to you. Lights, more lights!

FIRST LORD

The best of happiness, honour, and fortunes keep with you, Lord Timon.

TIMON

Ready for his friends.

APEMANTUS

What a coil’s here!
Serving of becks and jutting out of bums!
I doubt whether their legs be worth the sums
That are given for ’em. Friendship’s full of dregs.
Methinks false hearts should never have sound legs.
Thus honest fools lay out their wealth on curtsies.

TIMON

Now, Apemantus, if thou wert not sullen,
I would be good to thee.

APEMANTUS

No, I’ll nothing, for if I should be bribed too, there would be none left to rail upon thee, and then thou wouldst sin the faster. Thou giv’st so long, Timon, I fear me thou wilt give away thyself in paper shortly. What needs these feasts, pomps, and vainglories?

TIMON

Nay, an you begin to rail on society once, I am sworn not to give regard to you. Farewell, and come with better music.

APEMANTUS

So. Thou wilt not hear me now, thou shalt not then.
I’ll lock thy heaven from thee.
O, that men’s ears should be
To counsel deaf, but not to flattery!