PANDAR
Well, I had rather than twice the worth of her she had come here.
BAWD
Fie, fie upon her! She’s able to freeze the god Priapus, and undo a whole generation. We must either get her ravished, or be rid of her. When she should do for clients her fitment, and do me the kindness of our profession, she has me her quirks, her reasons, her master reasons, her prayers, her knees; that she would make a puritan of the devil, if he should cheapen a kiss of her.
BOULT
Faith, I must ravish her, or she’ll disfurnish us of all our cavaliers, and make our swearers priests.
PANDAR
Now, the pox upon her green sickness for me!
BAWD
Faith, there’s no way to be rid on’t but by the way to the pox.
Here comes the Lord Lysimachus disguised.
BOULT
We should have both lord and lown, if the peevish baggage would but give way to customers.
LYSIMACHUS
How now! How a dozen of virginities?
BAWD
Now, the gods to bless your honour!
BOULT
I am glad to see your honour in good health.
LYSIMACHUS
You may so; the better for you that your resorters stand upon sound legs. How now? Wholesome iniquity have you that a man may deal , and defy the surgeon?
BAWD
We have here one, sir, if she would—but there never came her like in Mytilene.
LYSIMACHUS
If she’d do the deed of darkness, say.
BAWD
Your honour knows what to say well enough.
LYSIMACHUS
Well, call forth, call forth.
BOULT
For flesh and blood, sir, white and red, you shall see a rose; and she were a rose indeed, if she had but—
LYSIMACHUS
What, ?
BOULT
O, sir, I can be modest.
LYSIMACHUS
That dignifies the renown of a bawd no less than it gives a good report to a number to be chaste.
BAWD
Here comes that which grows to the stalk; never plucked yet, I can assure you.
BAWD
Is she not a fair creature?
LYSIMACHUS
Faith, she would serve after a long voyage at sea. Well, there’s for you: leave us.
BAWD
I beseech your honour, give me leave: a word, and I’ll have done .
LYSIMACHUS
I beseech you, do.
BAWD
First, I would have you note, this is an honourable man.
MARINA
I desire to find him so, that I may worthily note him.
BAWD
Next, he’s the governor of this country, and a man whom I am bound to.
MARINA
If he govern the country, you are bound to him indeed; but how honourable he is in that, I know not.
BAWD
Pray you, without any more virginal fencing, will you use him kindly? He will line your apron with gold.
MARINA
What he will do graciously, I will thankfully receive.
LYSIMACHUS
Ha’ you done?
BAWD
My lord, she’s not paced yet: you must take some pains to work her to your manage. Come, we will leave his honour and her together. Go ways.
LYSIMACHUS
Now, pretty one, how long have you been at this trade?
MARINA
What trade, sir?
LYSIMACHUS
Why, I cannot name’t but I shall offend.
MARINA
I cannot be offended with my trade. Please you to name it.
LYSIMACHUS
How long have you been of this profession?
MARINA
E’er since I can remember.
LYSIMACHUS
Did you go to’t so young? Were you a gamester at five or at seven?
MARINA
Earlier, too, sir, if now I be one.
LYSIMACHUS
Why, the house you dwell in proclaims you to be a creature of sale.
MARINA
Do you know this house to be a place of such resort, and will come into’t? I hear say you are of honourable parts, and are the governor of this place.
LYSIMACHUS
Why, your principal made known unto you who I am?
MARINA
Who is my principal?
LYSIMACHUS
Why, your herb-woman; she that sets seeds and roots of shame and iniquity. O, you have heard something of my power, and so stand aloof for more serious wooing. But I protest to , pretty one, my authority shall not see , or else look friendly upon . Come, bring me to some private place: come, come.
MARINA
If you were born to honour, show it now;
If put upon you, make the judgement good
That thought you worthy of it.
LYSIMACHUS
How’s this? how’s this? Some more; be sage.
MARINA
For me,
That am a maid, though most ungentle Fortune
Have placed me in this sty, where, since I came,
Diseases have been sold dearer than physic,
O, that the gods
Would set me free from this unhallow’d place,
Though they did change me to the meanest bird
That flies i’ the purer air!
LYSIMACHUS
I did not think
have spoke so well; dream’d .
Had I brought a corrupted mind,
speech had alter’d it. Hold, here’s gold for :
Persever in that clear way goest,
And the gods strengthen !
MARINA
The good gods preserve you!
LYSIMACHUS
For me, be you thoughten
That I came with no ill intent; for to me
The very doors and windows savour vilely.
Fare well. art a piece of virtue, and
I doubt not but training been noble.
Hold, here’s more gold for .
A curse upon him, die he like a thief,
That robs of goodness! If
Hear from me, it shall be for good.
BOULT
I beseech your honour, one piece for me.
LYSIMACHUS
Avaunt, damned door-keeper!
Your house but for this virgin that prop it,
Would sink and overwhelm you. Away!
BOULT
How’s this? We must take another course with you. If your peevish chastity, which is not worth a breakfast in the cheapest country under the cope, shall undo a whole household, let me be gelded like a spaniel. Come your ways.
MARINA
would you have me?
BOULT
I must have your maidenhead taken off, or the common hangman shall execute it. Come your ways. We’ll have no more gentlemen driven away. Come your ways, I say.
BAWD
How now! what’s the matter?
BOULT
Worse and worse, mistress; she has here spoken holy words to the Lord Lysimachus.
BAWD
O, abominable!
BOULT
She makes our profession as it were to stink afore the face of the gods.
BAWD
Marry, hang her up for ever!
BOULT
The nobleman would have dealt with her like a nobleman, and she sent him away as cold as a snowball; saying his prayers too.
BAWD
Boult, take her away; use her at pleasure: crack the glass of her virginity, and make the rest malleable.
BOULT
An if she were a thornier piece of ground than she is, she shall be ploughed.
MARINA
Hark, hark, you gods!
BAWD
She conjures: away with her! Would she had never come within my doors! Marry, hang you! She’s born to undo us. Will you not go the way of womankind? Marry, come up, my dish of chastity with rosemary and bays!
BOULT
Come, mistress; come your way with me.
MARINA
wilt have me?
BOULT
To take from you the jewel you hold so dear.
MARINA
, tell me one thing first.
BOULT
Come now, your one thing?
MARINA
What canst wish enemy to be?
BOULT
Why, I could wish him to be my master, or rather, my mistress.
MARINA
Neither of these are so bad as art,
Since they do better in their command.
hold’st a place, for which the pained’st fiend
Of hell would not in reputation change:
art the damned doorkeeper to every
Coistrel that comes inquiring for his Tib.
To the choleric fisting of every rogue
ear is liable, food is such
As been belch’d on by infected lungs.
BOULT
What would you have me do? Go to the wars, would you? where a man may serve seven years for the loss of a leg, and have not money enough in the end to buy him a wooden one?
MARINA
Do anything but this doest. Empty
Old receptacles, or common shores, of filth;
Serve by indenture to the common hangman:
Any of these ways are yet better than this;
For what professest, a baboon, could he speak,
Would own a name too dear. O, that the gods
Would safely deliver me from this place!
Here, here’s gold for .
If that master would gain by me,
Proclaim that I can sing, weave, sew, and dance,
With other virtues, which I’ll keep from boast;
And I will undertake all these to teach.
I doubt not but this populous city will
Yield many scholars.
BOULT
But can you teach all this you speak of?
MARINA
Prove that I cannot, take me home again,
And prostitute me to the basest groom
That frequent your house.
BOULT
Well, I will see what I can do for : if I can place , I will.
MARINA
But amongst honest women.
BOULT
Faith, my acquaintance lies little amongst them. But since my master and mistress have bought you, there’s no going but by their consent: therefore I will make them acquainted with your purpose, and I doubt not but I shall find them tractable enough. Come, I’ll do for what I can; come your ways.